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UNCLE JACK'S WEBLOG
Monday, September 29, 2014
Hello October
       On this penultimate day of September 2014, Uncle Jack is pleased to report that he and Mrs. U.J. have arrived in Sonag for an extended visit. The monsoon rains of last week have ceased and so far the weather has been glorious. Fall has always been their favorite time on the Outer Banks and it looks as though Mother Nature is in a good mood at the moment.
       He will be wandering around with his camera for the next few weeks and if anything interesting turns up he will be sure to pass it on. (He didn't really have anything to say today but it was his last chance in September to use his favorite word:
penultimate.


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Surf was up Friday afternoon when they arrived. Lots of seaweed as far as the eye could see. Much of it is pushed up so high it is likely to remain for a long time.

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No sign of the replenished beach in front of the orphan cottages on Seagull Drive in South Nags Head Saturday.

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This oceanfront cottage is back on the market for less than $300,000. Better move fast if you're interested from the looks of it. This is the house in the other picture.

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Meanwhile back in Charm City these towering sunflowers adorn the campus of Johns Hopkins University across the street from Uncle Jack's condo.

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Browning leaves are the first harbingers of fall in the lovely Sherwood Gardens near the university. One of their favorite walks.

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This British navy ship visited Baltimore last week to help celebrate the 200th anniversary of the siege of Fort McHenry in the War of 1812.

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Uncle Jack scored a free ticket to watch the Orioles beat the Yankees recently. Orioles Park in Camden Yards is gorgeous on a sparkling fall day.

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This is one of several pictures he took of the Blue Angels flight team as they buzzed Orioles Park that day, bringing the game to a screeching halt each time. This is the only picture in which they actually appear.

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Uncle Jack's house in South Nags Head is available for the last week in October and several choice weeks in November. Google "Uncle Jack's Beach Cottage" for more info about this comfortable senior friendly domicile.

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"Uncle Jack's Outer Banks" is a Kindle book full of funny stuff he wrote about life on this disappearing sandspit during the 35 years he lived here full-time. Google it to find out more.

posted by Uncle Jack at 8:49 PM

Comments [5]



Friday, September 5, 2014
It's Football Time Again
       Seattle beat Green Bay last night in the first game of the 2014 NFL season, an event long awaited by football fans everywhere. The game brought to mind a column Uncle Jack wrote a long time ago and seeing that nothing much has changed except the names of the TV announcers he thought he would exhume it from the archives once more in the hope that it might provide brief respite from the incessant drumbeat of bad news from all over the world.
       He should probably mention that this is one of the 100 allegedly humorous stories in his Kindle book entitled "Uncle Jack's Outer Banks".


                                                        Football Blues

Dear Uncle Jack,
I have been happily married for almost six months to a really swell guy but now that it's football season I'm beginning to wonder if I made a mistake. All my husband does on Saturday and Sunday anymore is sit on the couch and drink beer and watch football on TV with his rowdy friends.
We used to do a lot of fun things on weekends like we would go over to Bodie Island and sit in one of the Park Service duck blinds and make believe we were in a jacuzzi in the Bahamas or we would go over to the mall and watch the seagulls drop their clams in the parking lot.
Now he won't even go out of the house on weekends and when I say something about it he tells me to bug off. To tell you the truth, Uncle Jack, I'm almost desperate enough to pack my things and go home to Mom and I would do it, too, except that she watches football all the time herself and all she ever talks about is how she would like to sack some guy named Ressleberger, whoever he is.
What can I do, Uncle Jack? You are my only hope.
Football Widow
Nags Head

Dear Widow,
Uncle Jack is very glad you wrote to him because he knows what you are going through and he is pretty sure he can help you. But you have to put on your thinking cap and really try to understand what he is going to tell you which you probably won't like. First of all you have to realize that it is not your husband's fault that all he wants to do on weekends is watch football on TV. Ever since he was a tiny boy baby the various forces of society have been training him and shaping and preparing him for the day when he would be a man and it would be time for him to take his rightful place in front of the tube.
Now that he is a man he has no choice. When he hears the voices of Terry or Big John or Dandy Don he must watch football, just like when you hear the voice that tells you it is time to clean the oven you cannot rest until the oven is clean. You must understand that men are supposed to watch football on TV and you should be glad that your husband is a real man and not some kind of wimp who spends his weekends riding around on a golf cart.
If you can truly believe what Uncle Jack has told you so far you are well on the way toward getting through the football season and saving your marriage. All you have to do is find some constructive ways to spend your time and not bother your husband for the next few weekends. If you can clean the oven quietly that would be a good thing to do, but stay away from the refrigerator because you could be trampled. There is something about watching football on TV that makes men very thirsty, especially for Lite Beer from Miller.
Some people will tell you to be a good sport and try to learn about football so you can sit in the living room and enjoy it with your husband and his friends. You must believe Uncle Jack when he tells you this is very bad advice. Your husband does not want you to watch football on TV with him because there are many things he would have to explain to you and it would take all the fun out of watching.
For example, he would have to explain to you why the best play in football is the one where three or four enormous men jump on the little quarterback and try to separate his head from his body. When this play is successful, as it often is, the quarterback has to be carried off the field on a stretcher and taken directly to the emergency room. Also Uncle Jack is pretty sure your husband would not want you to see him drooling over the practically naked cheerleaders when they are bouncing around the sidelines the way they do.
The best thing for you to do is to get out of the house completely on weekends. Fall is the very best time to transplant sandspurs, for example, or you might want to get together with some of the other football widows and drive up by Moyock and watch the leaves fall off the trees.
Anyway Uncle Jack hopes he has helped you see some ways to get through football season and save your marriage, too. All it will take is a little understanding on your part.
Sagely,
Uncle Jack


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You don't need a Kindle to read Uncle Jack's book. You can download it to your computer or tablet, too. Google "Uncle Jack's Outer Banks" for more info about how to order.

posted by Uncle Jack at 7:43 AM

Comments [0]




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Except for short hiatus in Baltimore Uncle Jack has lived in Nags Head for over 45 years. He was a columnist for the Outer Banks Current and its successor, the Outer Banks Sentinel, for 20 years. A collection of his columns is available from Amazon Kindle under the title Uncle Jack's Outer Banks. He and Mrs. Uncle Jack, aka Sue, live in South Nags Head whence he observes and sometimes comments on the passing parade.
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