OBX Connection Logo
I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
OBX Connection Home > OBX Connection Forum > I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!

Page 1, 2
I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: obxbaby54 - (Send PM)
Member Since: 4/27/2007
Location: North Central West Virginia
Total Posts: 2381

Date Posted: 9/26/2013 7:51 PM




I've had a real pit stop of a day. Make me laugh ... or at least smile.

OBX Connection Sponsored Links



RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: Md.Chas - (Send PM)
Member Since: 8/15/2012
Location: Parkville, Md
Total Posts: 983

Date Posted: 9/26/2013 8:06 PM




This is for the Steelers fans here, which I know are many....this is only a joke !!
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Owen.
Owen who?
Owen 3

Remember, this is only a joke... kinda, sorta..


RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: Jstangl - (Send PM)
Member Since: 4/4/2008
Location: Western Pa/Corolla
Total Posts: 8644

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 6:39 AM




Don't you think the "and" in Owen and 3 is a bit redundant? No offense taken...

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: Pickerpacker - (Send PM)
Member Since: 5/1/2006
Location:
Total Posts: 186

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 8:08 AM




What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's cute, but can it pick up a peanut?"

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: Jstangl - (Send PM)
Member Since: 4/4/2008
Location: Western Pa/Corolla
Total Posts: 8644

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 8:08 AM




A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.


RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: FreshFish - (Send PM)
Member Since: 6/3/2009
Location: AQUATOPIA,NC
Total Posts: 3059

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 10:39 AM




Nancy Fancy of Coral Springs , Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and school teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?""Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers and voted for Obama."

Big grin IMF Fish

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: Md.Chas - (Send PM)
Member Since: 8/15/2012
Location: Parkville, Md
Total Posts: 983

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 11:32 AM




Don't you think the "and" in Owen and 3 is a bit redundant? No offense taken...

Thanks for the correction.

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: Jstangl - (Send PM)
Member Since: 4/4/2008
Location: Western Pa/Corolla
Total Posts: 8644

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 12:10 PM




And I see the Jaguars (also 0-3) are giving away free beer to entice fans to the stadium - Clapping smiley

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: MarylandMike - (Send PM)
Member Since: 6/30/2009
Location: Mt. Airy, MD
Total Posts: 795

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 12:23 PM




And I see the Jaguars (also 0-3) are giving away free beer to entice fans to the stadium - Clapping smiley



Free - my favorite brand of beer! I think I paid $8.25 for a chilly at a recent NFL game.
Beer Beer Beer

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: MarvelousMoondance - (Send PM)
Member Since: 10/7/2006
Location: Wild and Wonderful WV
Total Posts: 8189

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 4:30 PM




A man walks into a bar.
BAM!!!

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: sandpiper - (Send PM)
Member Since: 1/27/2010
Location: Pittsburgh & S. Nags Head
Total Posts: 1578

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 11:08 PM




What do you get when cross an agnostic, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: TonyC2639 - (Send PM)
Member Since: 8/7/2010
Location: Monroe, Va / KDH 9.5
Total Posts: 2176

Date Posted: 9/27/2013 11:49 PM




SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer we'd both still be alive. Laughing smiley

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: MarvelousMoondance - (Send PM)
Member Since: 10/7/2006
Location: Wild and Wonderful WV
Total Posts: 8189

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 6:58 AM




My nephew made this one up when he was 5:

How do you get a handkerchief to dance?
Put a little boogie in it.



RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: robschonk - (Send PM)
Member Since: 2/23/2009
Location: Avon/Norfolk
Total Posts: 4822

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 8:39 AM




I would, but I'm way too busy cleaning up the house and doing yard work.

You can stop laughing now.....

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: MarvelousMoondance - (Send PM)
Member Since: 10/7/2006
Location: Wild and Wonderful WV
Total Posts: 8189

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 9:18 AM




I would, but I'm way too busy cleaning up the house and doing yard work.

You can stop laughing now.....



Take a break dude!

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane..." Buffet.

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: MARi - (Send PM)
Member Since: 5/31/2011
Location: Davidson County, NC
Total Posts: 972

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 6:36 PM




"You have the mind of a four year old boy and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it" - Groucho Marx

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening - but this wasn't it" - Grouch Marx

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: bluesIIVV - (Send PM)
Member Since: 7/6/2011
Location: Maryland
Total Posts: 386

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 8:28 PM




Midgets at the supermarket. You've got to hand it to them. Banana

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: robschonk - (Send PM)
Member Since: 2/23/2009
Location: Avon/Norfolk
Total Posts: 4822

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 9:29 PM




CAUTION: RACIST/SEXIST JOKE. IF YOUR SKIN IS THINNER THAN 1mm, PLEASE CLOSE THIS THREAD IMMEDIATELY, Loser Confused Angry smiley

White House Head Gardener Fired

James "Jim" Whitey, the head gardener at the White House, was dismissed today after 31 years of loyal service to scores of US Presidents and First Ladies.

In an exclusive interview outside the back gate of the Presidential Residence, the 64-year old Mr. Whitey, proclaimed his innocence and strongly condemned his firing.

"It all happened so fast. I'm still in a daze," said the bewildered Whitey. "All I know is, I was getting ready to weed the rose bed outside the Oval Office window like I do every week.

"I called out to my assistants, "Has anyone seen the spade and the hoe?" And the next thing I knew, the Secret Service was hauling my ass off the property.

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: OBXcaster - (Send PM)
Member Since: 8/10/2013
Location:
Total Posts: 249

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 9:49 PM




So the newly married groom asked his new bride how often she wanted to have sex. "Infrequently" she replied. The groom responded with the question " Is that one word or two?"

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: OBXcaster - (Send PM)
Member Since: 8/10/2013
Location:
Total Posts: 249

Date Posted: 9/28/2013 11:15 PM




The guy is driving along a sees a homeless man on his hands and knees eating grass. He stops and asks him why. "I have nothing else to eat" says the man. "Well get in the car I'm taking you home with me." says the first man. "To a good home cooked meal?" asked the homeless man. "No "says the first man "my lawn mower is broken."

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: Rick - (Send PM)
Member Since: 2/8/2004
Location: Amissville Va.
Total Posts: 1190

Date Posted: 9/29/2013 5:31 PM




A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: jellybear - (Send PM)
Member Since: 11/14/2008
Location:
Total Posts: 1590

Date Posted: 9/29/2013 7:58 PM




Tim walks in his living room and sees his wife watching a Cooking Show "Why are you watching that he asks her.You can't cook !
Well She replies"You watch Porn...!

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: nehall - (Send PM)
Member Since: 8/16/2011
Location: Martinsville, VA
Total Posts: 1784

Date Posted: 10/1/2013 8:49 AM




After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed & watched a 10 inch black & white TV, but I got to sleep with a 23 year old girl."

Now.....we have a $250,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice king size bed, and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73 year old woman. So I said to my wife, "Seems to me like you're not keeping up with your part of the bargain."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a 23 year old girl to sleep with and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed & watching a 10 inch black & white TV.

Aren't older women great! They really know how to solve an old guy's problems!

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: worldpeacenews - (Send PM)
Member Since: 10/6/2013
Location: North Carolina
Total Posts: 79

Date Posted: 10/12/2013 6:23 PM




Single handedly have been doing all the movies, music, television, computers & corporations whole ideas since year 1963. One person has been doing everything covert. Lucky me I only have 62 more day's left tell USA Government turns on the media blitz about myself Bob Blockus. The mother of all movies Saving Mr Banks Disney Tom Hanks. Will end the saga of covertness. From being normal everyday person to having a net worth of $100 Billion. In boy scouts many years ago have been going down to the Outer Banks. Now I may be able to pick up a $3.4 million beach house in Duck and move in from my Apartment from North Carolina. Game plan on web site bob blockus dot com.

www.bobblockus.com

RE: I need to laugh ... Gimme some jokes!
Posted By: beachtrax - (Send PM)
Member Since: 10/6/2013
Location:
Total Posts: 74

Date Posted: 10/12/2013 7:02 PM




Single handedly have been doing all the movies, music, television, computers & corporations whole ideas since year 1963. One person has been doing everything covert. Lucky me I only have 62 more day's left tell USA Government turns on the media blitz about myself Bob Blockus. The mother of all movies Saving Mr Banks Disney Tom Hanks. Will end the saga of covertness. From being normal everyday person to having a net worth of $100 Billion. In boy scouts many years ago have been going down to the Outer Banks. Now I may be able to pick up a $3.4 million beach house in Duck and move in from my Apartment from North Carolina. Game plan on web site bob blockus dot com.

Now THAT'S a funny JOKE. Clapping smiley Clapping smiley Clapping smiley (One flew over the Coo coo's nest)

Page 1, 2
seagrass
NEW Home | Outer Banks Vacation Rentals | Outer Banks Message Board | Outer Banks Webcams | Contact Us | Advertise



Privacy Policy | Outer Banks Vacation Rentals | Outer Banks Life | Copyright Notice | Outer Banks Weblog