| Monday, July 18, 2022 | | Galavanting: The Search for Joy | I’ve been sitting in front of my computer screen, thinking, how am I going to start…and continue…and end another blog? How many times can I acknowledge my grief journey without sounding redundant, without sparking sadness in others? How can I NOT write about it, since this is the road I am walking?
There is a Navajo prayer I have loved ever since I first heard of it. The word most often translated to English as “beauty” implies so much more than scenic loveliness; it speaks of peace, of joy, and of confidence. Its fuller version is used as a closing prayer in ceremonies of blessing.
In Beauty may I walk.
Beauty before me, beauty behind me.
Beauty below me, beauty above me.
In Beauty may I walk.
One of the translations I found closed with these thoughts:
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, lively, may I walk.
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, living again, may I walk.
My words will be beautiful…
I realize I have had the intent of these words, if not their literal chanting, in my mind and heart these past days and weeks as I have gone, in Pete’s words, “out galavanting.” Galavanting was the word he used most often when I would announce I was headed over to Alligator River or down to Pea Island or up to Carova or any number of places in the region, seeking peace, seeking joy and yes, seeking beauty. Mostly I have been out wandering, seeking connection and consolation, looking for wildlife and trying to nurture a spiritual season of renewal in my own soul.
To that end, I have spent more time in Alligator River refuge in the past six weeks than I think I have in the past six years! I have been back over to the Pungo unit of the Pocosin refuge. I tramped around a sunflower field on a very warm morning, looking for butterflies and finding life lessons in how those flowers seek out the sunshine. I’ve dashed to the beach in the rain, in a mixture of hope and confidence that a rainbow would form, and was not disappointed.
I spotted at great distance my first ever Red Wolf in the wild. After about a dozen years of seeking the convergence of morning fog and a sunrise burning through, I experienced conditions that bird photographer Arthur Morris dubs “fire in the mist” – and asked, earnestly and eagerly, that a bear would please come out into the very spot I had seen one the evening before, which would be the perfect spot given the fiery fog…and bear came. With my heart on the ground in renewed sorrow at learning of the sudden passing of Ray Matthews, I went to Alligator River and had another life-list encounter with a bear soaking (and snoozing) in a canal. While I have seen bears crossing the canals quickly, this was only the second time (the first was in 2015) I have photographed one that seemed content to stay put in the water – in this case, for over an hour. I watched a mother and cub feast on the fruit of a wild black cherry tree, and a Ruby-throated Hummingbird and and Black Swallowtails feeding on a flowering mimosa. And I finally made an image I truly like of a Barred Owl in flight.
Closer to the house, I watched and hoped and rejoiced as “Caroline and Colin,” the Osprey pair at the Colington Creek Inn, successfully raised FOUR Osprey babies to fledging, a tremendous undertaking.
Every click of the shutter brought joy in the moment and renewed joy as I reviewed the images and relived the experiences back at home.
Meanwhile I must admit I have left some home chores undone for “later, ‘gator.” (You may recall my yawning alligator from my last post.) If I have learned anything walking this grief road, it is this: the chores will definitely wait for me. The light, the chance to be with wildlife, the chance to speak my love to those I care about…those chances may not come around again, or not in the same ways. So as much as I can, I am choosing, in the words of the Navajo prayer, to walk in beauty. And may my words be beautiful…
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click for larger image | Rainbow, sunset glow, and fog both north and south along with a huge tide pool made for a different view. |
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click for larger image | This is the mother Osprey, Caroline, with ALL FOUR babies, a few days before the first two fledged! Nest is crowded now! |
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click for larger image | A huge field of sunflowers gives all sorts of opportunities for visual play. I started looking for butterflies. |
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click for larger image | Now for the bears! Here is the bear that came out into those brief fiery fog conditions at the back of a field at Alligator River. |
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click for larger image | This is the mother bear in the black cherry tree. She had made for herself what looked like a bower of broken branches. |
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click for larger image | This cub was the more active, climbing high to get his (her?) own cherries. Look at those big claws! |
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click for larger image | Here is my soaking bear. He laid so still so long I finally asked if he would please move around and show me he was ok. Minutes later, he sat up. |
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posted by eturek at 2:17 PM |
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