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Considering Moving to the OBX

Considering Moving to the OBX




Hi everyone!

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place for this type of post—if not, I truly apologize as I'm still getting familiar with this forum.

I'm currently studying Computer Science in Toronto, and with three years left in my degree, I’ve been dreaming about a quieter life away from the city’s hustle. The idea of settling in a small, close-knit town where I can breathe a little easier both physically and mentally is really growing on me.

I know what you're thinking—here's some kid, who probably got swept up in a bunch of TV show fantasies about quaint town life. But really, this isn't a new dream sparked by binge-watching; I've wanted to move to a smaller, rural area since high school.

I've been eyeing Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina because of its affordability and the sense of community it seems to offer. As a software engineering student, I’m pretty lucky that remote work could make this transition feasible, though I’m open to commuting to an office a few times a week if needed.

This may sound a little crazy, but the more I think about it, the more appealing it feels. I’ve even started facing some pushback, with a few naysayers telling me it’s a bad idea because of X and Y reasons. Still, I'm looking to gather as much genuine advice as possible.

Here’s what I’m curious about (does not need to be exclusively about KDH):

Lifestyle Comparison: For those of you who’ve experienced both urban and rural living, how do they compare in terms of convenience, social opportunities, and your overall happiness?

Return Possibility: Have any of you moved from a bustling city to a small town and then regretted it? Or considered moving back to the city? I’d love to hear what drove those feelings.

Preparation: What should someone like me think about before making this kind of move? Were there any challenges or adjustments that took you by surprise?

Community Insights: Although it's not a dealbreaker, I’m also interested in hearing from anyone familiar with Kill Devil Hills. What’s the vibe like in terms of community, safety, amenities, and general quality of life?

Young Adult Life: What's life like for someone in their early 20s? Are there enough social activities, places to hang out, and opportunities to make friends?

I’m really looking forward to reading your stories and advice. Your insights could play a big part in my decision on whether this is the right path for me.

Thanks so much in advance for your help!

Tounge smiley


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RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




As a Local Resident your "Dream" is realistic, but I think you are looking in the wrong place. The word "Affordability" is not in the Outer Banks Vocabulary. Job opportunities in your field in your field would be hard to find. The Area is a Beach Vacation Destination. Hotels, Retail, Recreation, Etc. Sorry to be Dr. Doom and Gloom!


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Even if you miraculously land a 100% remote position as a JSWE at FAANG, moving to KDH as a 22-23 year old is a terrible idea.

Your dating life will suck. Your career networking opportunities will be basically zero, there is virtually zero young adult nightlife, and housing is gonna be wildly expensive. Expect Toronto level rent without the amenities of a major city.

My advice? Get your degree and shotgun applications everywhere. Take whatever offer you get that has the highest total comp. Build your career, collect buckets of money, and revisit this hare-brained idea if and when you make L5 in your career.

PS the average age on this board is like 65, go cross post this on Reddit if you haven’t already.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




I've been eyeing Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina because of its affordability and the sense of community it seems to offer. As a software engineering student, I’m pretty lucky that remote work could make this transition feasible, though I’m open to commuting to an office a few times a week if needed.

xOmen


As a student you should be "open" to commuting to an office 5 days a week. It's pretty arrogant to be "open" to going into the office before proving yourself in my opinion. Find a job with a great company. One that offers opportunities for growth, good benefits, proper raises, etc. Put in the face to face time and become invaluable and then you can do whatever you want. Few companies would have an issue with their top developers working remote.

What did you think of this area when you visited? What interests do you have that makes you find this area to be a good fit?


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Once you are close to graduating start throwing job applications out in your field and go and learn your tradecraft to the highest degree for 5 years then start looking to see where you can go based on your experience and proven track record.



RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Ali is back!!


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




I mostly agree with the responses so far. There are plenty of places to get "quaint town life" that are not a vacation/beach destination and have the cost of living that reflects that.

While living in or near a "big city" isn't the requisite that is was 40 years ago for an IT career, job opportunities will be far more and will pay better. Get your foot in the door, then keep your eyes peeled for an opportunity out in the sticks.

If at or close to the coast is part of the requirement... well "at" is going to be cost prohibitive for someone starting out, so "close" is going to have to do for a while. I would go south and get within commuting distance of Wilmington. Hampstead or Holly Ridge for example, although those areas are experiencing a lot of growth... or at least they were before the damnpanic.

As Mstaszew said, be prepared to be in the office five days. You won't get the exposure or opportunities working remote. Out of sight, out of mind. If you work remote and your clone works in the office, your clone will leave you in the dust career-wise.

Preparation? You have three years. Spend a week of every season in the quaint, small town of choice.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




I've been eyeing Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina because of its affordability and the sense of community it seems to offer. As a software engineering student, I’m pretty lucky that remote work could make this transition feasible, though I’m open to commuting to an office a few times a week if needed.

xOmen


As a student you should be "open" to commuting to an office 5 days a week. It's pretty arrogant to be "open" to going into the office before proving yourself in my opinion. Find a job with a great company. One that offers opportunities for growth, good benefits, proper raises, etc. Put in the face to face time and become invaluable and then you can do whatever you want. Few companies would have an issue with their top developers working remote.

What did you think of this area when you visited? What interests do you have that makes you find this area to be a good fit?

Mstaszew


@Mstaszew. First and foremost, appreciate the comment. I understand where you're coming from, but I think it's important to note how much the work environment, especially in fields like tech and software engineering, is evolving. Many companies are increasingly supportive of remote work because they've found it can lead to greater productivity and allows them to tap into a wider talent pool. Quick note, I also want to clarify that my openness to a hybrid work model isn’t about arrogance. It's based on the evolving norms within the tech industry, where flexibility has become a key factor in job satisfaction and productivity.

The notion of proving one's worth to a company isn't exclusively tied to physical presence in an office. It's also about the quality of work delivered, meeting deadlines, and effective communication, regardless of where one is located. I mentioned being open to commuting a few times a week because it offers a balanced approach—providing opportunities for in-person collaboration when necessary while also taking advantage of the productivity that remote work can offer.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Even if you miraculously land a 100% remote position as a JSWE at FAANG, moving to KDH as a 22-23 year old is a terrible idea.

Your dating life will suck. Your career networking opportunities will be basically zero, there is virtually zero young adult nightlife, and housing is gonna be wildly expensive. Expect Toronto level rent without the amenities of a major city.

My advice? Get your degree and shotgun applications everywhere. Take whatever offer you get that has the highest total comp. Build your career, collect buckets of money, and revisit this hare-brained idea if and when you make L5 in your career.

PS the average age on this board is like 65, go cross post this on Reddit if you haven’t already.

Aliphatic


Trust me, Reddit was the first platform of my choice to go posting on, however, you'd be surprised, I noticed that the responses I got towards my questions were utterly brutally negative towards the idea of me moving, not just me btw, plenty of people seemed to attempt this idea who are in the same boat as me, and they get shot down by responses that just upright demotivates people. I think a a board that has 65-year-olds in it are more beneficial to me given the state on Reddit lol.

That's beside the point though, I've read about quite a few people on Reddit who have successfully moved to less urban areas to work in tech roles, including software engineering. This trend made me think that transitioning to a more remote setting while maintaining a career might be more doable than it seems, which is why I thought that finding not just a remote job, but a job in general in my sector shouldn't be too difficult.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




I've been eyeing Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina because of its affordability and the sense of community it seems to offer. As a software engineering student, I’m pretty lucky that remote work could make this transition feasible, though I’m open to commuting to an office a few times a week if needed.

xOmen


As a student you should be "open" to commuting to an office 5 days a week. It's pretty arrogant to be "open" to going into the office before proving yourself in my opinion. Find a job with a great company. One that offers opportunities for growth, good benefits, proper raises, etc. Put in the face to face time and become invaluable and then you can do whatever you want. Few companies would have an issue with their top developers working remote.

What did you think of this area when you visited? What interests do you have that makes you find this area to be a good fit?

Mstaszew


@Mstaszew. First and foremost, appreciate the comment. I understand where you're coming from, but I think it's important to note how much the work environment, especially in fields like tech and software engineering, is evolving. Many companies are increasingly supportive of remote work because they've found it can lead to greater productivity and allows them to tap into a wider talent pool. Quick note, I also want to clarify that my openness to a hybrid work model isn’t about arrogance. It's based on the evolving norms within the tech industry, where flexibility has become a key factor in job satisfaction and productivity.

The notion of proving one's worth to a company isn't exclusively tied to physical presence in an office. It's also about the quality of work delivered, meeting deadlines, and effective communication, regardless of where one is located. I mentioned being open to commuting a few times a week because it offers a balanced approach—providing opportunities for in-person collaboration when necessary while also taking advantage of the productivity that remote work can offer.

xOmen


I understand the field. I have a CS degree and am a principle software engineer with my company. I have 20+ years experience with them. Much of the time was flexible where I could work from home if needed and the past 8 years have been 100% remote. I have been flexibly spending my time between Nags Head and elsewhere the past 3 years. Regardless of where you think the industry is, you are a dime a dozen in this field today. The person who makes a strong, positive impact will succeed the most. There are a lot of good developers out there. The standouts are going to be the people who not only do good work, but also put on a strong human front. Having beers after work with the team, bonding on a social level, etc.

As a North American you are fighting against a world of people who do acceptable, sometimes great, work for much less. Our company has developers across the globe. Serbia puts out some excellent workers on the cheap, for example. Russia has good people as well although our relationship with Russia means almost no company has Russian (or Chinese) developers touching source code if you want to sell to the government... which most major software companies do. I'd argue that even in today's world of remote work acceptance you have an even bigger reason to put in a few years face to face because you're competing against a lot of cheap labor.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




I mostly agree with the responses so far. There are plenty of places to get "quaint town life" that are not a vacation/beach destination and have the cost of living that reflects that.

While living in or near a "big city" isn't the requisite that is was 40 years ago for an IT career, job opportunities will be far more and will pay better. Get your foot in the door, then keep your eyes peeled for an opportunity out in the sticks.

If at or close to the coast is part of the requirement... well "at" is going to be cost prohibitive for someone starting out, so "close" is going to have to do for a while. I would go south and get within commuting distance of Wilmington. Hampstead or Holly Ridge for example, although those areas are experiencing a lot of growth... or at least they were before the damnpanic.

As Mstaszew said, be prepared to be in the office five days. You won't get the exposure or opportunities working remote. Out of sight, out of mind. If you work remote and your clone works in the office, your clone will leave you in the dust career-wise.

Preparation? You have three years. Spend a week of every season in the quaint, small town of choice.

Stumpy


Appreciate the advice, like I said to Mstaszew, here's the thing—the work world, especially in tech, is changing. Even though being in the office can definitely help you get noticed and move up faster, a lot of companies are now getting really good at keeping remote workers in the loop and making sure they’re just as involved as their in-office colleagues.

And about my openness to remote work—it’s not about skipping out on the traditional path. It’s more about finding a way to fit into this new, flexible work culture that values both hard work and quality of life.

Nevertheless, always appreciate advice so I do thank you for the heads up, the suggestion to spend time in each season in the town I’m considering is super helpful. It’s a solid way to really understand what I’d be getting into year-round.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




As a Local Resident your "Dream" is realistic, but I think you are looking in the wrong place. The word "Affordability" is not in the Outer Banks Vocabulary. Job opportunities in your field in your field would be hard to find. The Area is a Beach Vacation Destination. Hotels, Retail, Recreation, Etc. Sorry to be Dr. Doom and Gloom!

Pickle


Dr. Doom and Gloom? Nonsense, no worries at all!!

Completely understand your side of things. That said, I've come across several discussions on Reddit where people have shared their experiences landing tech jobs in similar vacation destinations, which made it seem more doable than I initially thought. It appears that as remote work becomes more common, more tech professionals are finding ways to make it work, even in places not traditionally known for tech careers.

Yes, while the prices of homes may be steep in the OBX (which I do still agree on), by the time I graduate I think I would be able to afford a place of my own, with some support from my family and my savings. Though I do understand what you mean about the challenges and it's definitely something I'm keeping in mind.

Of course, I'm still in the early stages of figuring all this out, and your input definitely gives me a lot to think about. Guess we'll have to see how it all goes down.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




But... to touch on your questions if this is a serious inquiry...

Affordability... relative. To many of the workers here it's unreasonable. To me it's par for the course. The housing/gas/food prices here are approximately what I expect where my home inland is located. The inventory here sucks compared to an urban area so you have less to choose from in a given price range. Homeowner's insurance here will be higher most likely. If you move here soon after graduating you'd be doing quite well to be able to purchase a home in the near term. If it were me I'd fear I'd be stuck as a lifelong renter. I would buy a no frills starter home adjacent to a major tech center and hang out for a few years.

Activities... fishing, hunting, surfing, wind sports, photography, and anything outdoors. If none of those things appeal to you there may still be something here for you, but the vast majority of everyone I've met here over the years has an interest in one or more of those. The OBX is world class for all of those mentioned.

Socializing for 20-somethings... dunno. I play a lot of disc golf and there's a rocking community here for it. If you're into any of the activities the area is known for you meet people through that as well. I have met a lot of folks through fishing. There are also some good bands and music venues. It's much more subdued than anywhere else I've lived and the people I've met here have strong social networks already. Working remote IT will not provide you a group of peers as a launching off point socially. You have to do some leg work to find your fit here in my experience. Elsewhere I'd find a good bottle shop (I enjoy good beer) and rest assured there would be endless opportunities for meeting new people. I haven't found a single place here with the same vibe as I'm accustomed to.

Rural... west of the beach in mainland Dare and Currituck counties. KDH, not so much. It is small town compared to any major urban area, sure. Is it a small rural town, really? Not in my opinion. Traffic here is a breeze compared to most places I've lived despite any complaints you may read online from locals.

I love it here and in a few years hope to have my interests elsewhere tied up and make the full time move out this way.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Keep in mind that you would be about two hours from the airport in regards to having to spend some time weekly or monthly with your company.

My brother works for hospitals throughout the US installing Epic, and is currently working remotely from SW VA and has to travel quite frequently to a Boston job. That job is up in December, and his next gig is in Lewes, Delaware. We have a pretty decent airport here, but that might be a factor for you.

Best of luck to you!!!


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




I have travelled most of my career and have found myself in Toronto many times. Beautiful city even in the winter.

I have 90% retired to Nags Head, a few miles south of KDH. I say 90% due to family responsibilities up in NJ. So family is a consideration if you move that far from Toronto. You can miss out on many family things being that far away from parents/siblings.

The good news is that traffic is non-existent compared to Toronto, even considering 3:00-6:00pm on a summer Saturday in KDH. I think that is a reason the cost of housing in Toronto is so high, any commute is brutal. You will definitely need a car in the OBX.

Not getting into the health care debate, but compared to NJ at least, health care options here in the OBX are a bit more limited(less convenient) than NJ, you will need to drive some at times.

Have you considered a small College town? Many bars/restaurants/venues for 20-30yr olds and probably more social and business contacts and events, although OBX does have many events during the summer especially.

Like I said, I have travelled worldwide and throughout the USA, and the folks in NC and the OBX are as nice as I have ever run into.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Ah to be young and know everything already (just based on xOmen's responses to good information). I don't know much about IT and I've been retired for a while, but I'd say you're expectations about work is going to be a disappointment when you do enter the work force.

Have you ever visited the OBX? it doesn't sound like it. The first thing to do is to schedule a trip in both the winter and summer. It's completely different between those 2 seasons.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




If you are a young college student, then you might want to spend a summer working on the Outer Banks. The best paying job a young summer employee can get is waiting tables. It will serve you well for several reasons other than the pay. It will give you an opportunity to speak to a lot of people and make connections.


Understand that the power of excellence is the route to prosperity. Your boss will recognize that you understand it during your first week, and finding a place to stay will be no problem.

Ask around and spend the summer feeling out the Outer Banks . Then hop on that horse called the power of excellence and ride it into prosperity wherever you want to go.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Make yourself a life plan. Architect your future. Having to plan it out - work, housing, interests, savings, health insurance and healthcare, etc. Going into it with the idea that wherever you choose to launch your career you'll need to plan these things will give you the structure to do so.

You might also decide, if you're allowed to work remotely from places other than your permanent home, to locate near to places you want to see/experience and visit those places to get to know them. That might lead you to relocating there at some point or maybe to buying there as an investment and spending part time there and part time renting it out to cover expenses and build equity.

You'll reexamine the plan and adjust as things change, but that framework will help you navigate what you want and need as life changes.

And, you did an admirable job of navigating the perhaps well meaning antiquated advice that you need to be open to working in an office like it's 1999. The good thing about American managers and businesses being so open and insistent about their demands for people to be physically in an office so someone can watch them while they get less done is that it's easy to avoid those companies and their managers who can't really manage, but like looking like they do.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Follow your dreams, you have it all planned out, disregard all the good , and accurate information that you ask for.
By the way, what university. are you attending in Canada.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Sounds like your will beyond your years. Whatever you choose, your not going to make any wrong decisions.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Sounds like your will beyond your years. Whatever you choose, your not going to make any wrong decisions.

mlpmo


and don't take any advice from Ali unless you plan on buying a shipment of Betadine...



RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




The good thing about American managers and businesses being so open and insistent about their demands for people to be physically in an office so someone can watch them while they get less done is that it's easy to avoid those companies and their managers who can't really manage, but like looking like they do.

KDHBreeze


You have conflated poor company management and remote work opportunities. Poor managers will be poor managers. In-person or remote doesn't change that.

Many companies implemented a return to work process because they have money invested in infrastructure at a physical location. It is what it is. There are of course some companies with upper management who still stick to old school thoughts where in-person is the only way. That may not make them poor companies to work for, but your work from home opportunities may be limited to a few days here and there so you can juggle your personal and professional life effectively. Furthermore, I argue that remote, distributed teams has increased management oversight through SDLC practices designed to keep a project moving along despite geographic distances. Things that could be hashed out in 5 mins at the Keurig now require daily standups and Teams meetings to bring everyone together. It's the life of the software engineer and less effective than in-person collaboration.

I would never trade remote work for in-person now, but I have enough years under my belt and a resume that allows me the freedoms to hold out.

I commend the OP's focus to move to a more remote area and seek a remote position. My earlier answers offer a realistic portrayal of the industry and not some utopian classroom thoughts so the OP has a reasonable understanding of this developer's experiences both in the field and through friendships made with others in the field. And the OP says it's "changing" as if I've not been living on the front lines of it for years lol. It is changing and not always for the better and not only with respect to remote work.

I for one enjoy having a great job. I also enjoy living at the beach. I think striving for both simultaneously from the onset would have been a challenge and not one I would have gambled my future self on personally.


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Ali is back!!

izzymcgee


And our cellmates seem to be exceedingly gullible these days.

Beech


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




Ali is back!!

izzymcgee


And our cellmates seem to be exceedingly gullible these days.

Beech

BEECHBM1969


It's a slow week. I bit. Laughing smiley


RE: Considering Moving to the OBX




40 years ago, at age 21 I moved to Duck, then Kitty Hawk and settled at KDH. Worked at some very classic restaurants, beginning at Papagayos, the Carolinian and the original JK’s. Got married along the way, built a home and produced offspring.

Before the inter webs came along I made a career change to medical/surgical physician coding. This was back when certification wasn’t required. I learned directly from the physician and grinded it out for 20 years far away from the beach.

I’m now in the hometurn of my coding certification process and my long range plan involves remote coding and the Outer Banks. Most likely with the general area of RDU being “corporate” home. My current home is N Central Florida, near University of Florida in Gainesville.

My point is, yes you can make it work but you need to be flexible, do you physical homework on locations. Spend some time visiting the areas like KDH, and wherever you think your corporate home base might be. Va Beach, Greenville, NC or RDU are the closest drives but also the Wilmington area should be in the mix. I was born in Wilmington and raised in Chapel Hill.

IMHO the word “rural” no longer fits KDH. 40 years ago, perhaps, but I lean more towards “coastal” community to describe it. Whereas Wilmington is indeed an actual beach “city.” The KDH of 35 years ago that I lived at still exists it’s just much more densely populated and has big box stores. FYI there’s a bit of van camping on the horizon if that helps your long range plans…Feel free to reach out, as they say!




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